My first anti-convulsant med helped keep me seizure-free for over a year. As the seizures started, it was slowly increased in dosage to no avail. My neurologist changed that medication out for another, which has seemingly stopped working, too. Each medication has reduced the frequency of my seizures; however, I have experienced two severe episodes in the last few months. Each time, I tumbled pretty hard. The second time, I fell several steps and eventually went to the ER, wondering if I had a cracked rib. Thankfully, neither incident caused much harm. The wound, however, is more emotional and psychological. Yes, my entire torso might have been covered in bruises, but the real damage is in my psychological state. I want to move forward, and it seems the only real thing preventing doing just that is the seizure activity. I can manage the anxiety, kind of. The fatigue requires a good midday nap. The seizures are detrimental. My neurologist suggested that I enter an epilepsy monitoring unit (EMU) to understand the brain activity further and see if we might find a way to manage the seizures. He had mentioned this in the past, too. Initially, the thought of being inpatient (yet again!) in a neuroscience ward where I would not only be monitored 24/7 by a team of doctors and techs trying to induce seizures sounded horrific and barbaric. However, with the increase in activity, it seems the best option is to undergo monitoring to comprehend the root cause of the brain activity. Perhaps this will entail surgery or some other form of intervention. Right now, that is very much a mystery. The only thing that is understood is that this is hurting my emotional healing and recovery.
healing is a circular path 